


Write Me Your Love

by bottomchanyeol, exosted



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BFFstolovers, Humor, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 11:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomchanyeol/pseuds/bottomchanyeol, https://archiveofourown.org/users/exosted/pseuds/exosted
Summary: Kyungsoo pushes his best friend duties a little too far when he takes it to himself to nurse Chanyeol’s broken heart.- This fanwork was written for round 2 of the bottom!Chanyeol fest [2018/19].





	Write Me Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to thank the mods for their endless kindness, for arranging this fest, and for being overall angels. I’d also like to thank my beta friend C for overseeing most of this and sharing her opinion on how to make it better. And to you, dear readers. I hope you enjoy reading this like I enjoyed writing it.

 

 

His days no longer feel complete without his best friend sniffling right beside him.

 

It could happen early in the morning before breakfast, or late at night, when they were both nose deep into whatever book they had to read, the tell tale sniffle and the choked sob ever present.

 

Honestly, Kyungsoo was used to it. Ever since the ugly break up his best friend Chanyeol had to go through last month, the cries and random bouts of sadness weren’t exactly unwarranted.

 

In a way, he’s glad Chanyeol trusts him enough to have his little breakdowns around him, that he doesn’t mind Kyungsoo’s presence in his most vulnerable state. And Kyungsoo is okay with this; prefers it, even. Because this way he can keep an eye on Chanyeol and not have a repeat of the night he had to pick him up from the dumpster behind a club. Chanyeol was drunk out of his mind and he wasn’t exactly light as a feather...so the shit Kyungsoo went through to take them back to their dorms was insurmountable. It’s safe to say they won’t be clubbing for a whole damn while because of that.

 

He sighs as the tell tale signs of Chanyeol’s sobfest begins. First, he quiets down. Second, his ears shut off from the world. A bomb could blow up right behind them and he wouldn’t know. And lastly, his breath gets caught in his chest and he chokes--a rush of tears free falling from his cheeks.

 

Kyungsoo almost always has a tissue on his person now because of this, seemingly pulling one out of nowhere so Chanyeol has something to wipe his big ass tears with.

 

“Thanks, Soo.”

 

He makes a noncommittal sound, pretending not to pay attention to his tall best friend too much as he continues typing away at his laptop. At his peripheries though he sees Chanyeol sniff, dab at his eyes and then blow his nose. His own nose wrinkles in disgust, making a mental note to dust everything in his room off before going to bed.

 

They continue on like that, the soft sad sounds Chanyeol makes an accompaniment to the frantic tapping on Kyungsoo’s laptop.

 

 

Morning comes seeping through the cheap dorm curtains ungracefully, bathing Kyungsoo in light he doesn’t need so fucking early. Groans spill from his lips as he turns, legs knocking onto another pair in his bed. He jolts, head snapping up in alarm. Relief floods him when he sees its only Chanyeol, having climbed up the bed sometime during his crying episode.

 

Kyungsoo sighs, palm pillowed under his cheek as he observes his best friend. There are dried tear streaks over Chanyeol’s cheeks and under his eyes, lips parted with every peaceful inhale and exhale. Kyungsoo’s heart twinges at the sight of Chanyeol like this; looking so, so innocent with his eyes barely closed and his brows smoothed out instead of furrowed when he cries. He deserves so much more than heartbreak, Kyungsoo thinks. And he’s finally had enough of his constant moping.

 

If Chanyeol wasn’t going to pick himself up, Kyungsoo will.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                         ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

“Hey Soo, can you pass the salt?”

 

Kyungsoo passes the salt wordlessly before turning a page in his notebook, pretending to be deep in thought. In reality, he can’t face Chanyeol right now, not after what he did.

 

Nerves settle in the bottom of his stomach uncomfortably, rooting themselves deeply until all he wants to do is pee and gnaw at his nails until they’re raw.

 

He glances up when he hears the telltale signs of Chanyeol playing Guitar Hero on his phone, fries forgotten in front of him. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in all this time now that Chanyeol was distracted, visibly relaxing in his seat across him. His best friend pays him no mind, already absorbed in the game with his tongue peeking out of his mouth in concentration. His brows furrow, dimple pinching his cheek when he misses a beat and his fingers tap a little too late.

 

A smile makes its way to Kyungsoo’s face before he can stop it, and suddenly he no longer regrets writing that letter and sending it anonymously.

 

 

 

 

_Hours prior._

 

 

Chanyeol leaves his dorm room as soon as he wakes up. Spluttering half-assed apologies as he sleepily slides off Kyungsoo’s bed and out the door. He’s practically walking around blind as he bumps into every surface in Kyungsoo’s room, making the latter laugh from where he was bent over his school bag. He waves Chanyeol off with a ‘see you later Yeol’ and goes right back into digging in his bag. He finds what he’s looking for after some time and pulls it out with a flourish-- special paper.

 

Special paper he was going to use to write Chanyeol’s love letters on.

 

This paper was supposed to be a gag gift for a classmate whose birthday was coming up, but he guesses it wouldn’t hurt to use it first for a test run.

 

It was pink, sparkly, and God-awful, but Kyungsoo supposes it will do the job just fine. After all, he is writing a love letter--why not go all out.

 

He pulls his laptop out and sits on the edge of his bed, palms clammy as he wipes it over the sheets. He nibbles on his lower lip as the blank word document stares him in the face, the blinking cursor intimidating even as he sits there.

 

Eventually though, the words come. Everything cheesy and over the top.

 

He tells Chanyeol he’s lovely, and that he misses his smile. He words it in a way that Chanyeol has a secret admirer, which is also why he’s printing this out instead of sending in something handwritten. Kyungsoo can change his writing style just fine, but he doesn’t want to risk it and unnecessarily complicate things.

 

The letter is done and printed out in boring old Times New Roman, so it appears generic even though the contents are anything but. Kyungsoo neatly folds it up, going the extra mile by not leaving any fingerprints or weird stains on the paper; gingerly folding it up and stuffing it into an envelope like it was the Holy Shroud.

 

Kyungsoo decides to mail it anonymously through the University’s mailing system, which allows students to send letters to their estranged homes and sometimes, yes, to secret crushes.

 

His anxiety shoots through the roof as he mails it away, careful not to stand out or do something to draw attention to himself as he mails it off.

 

There’s no return address and he didn’t sign it. No clue about who Chanyeol’s secret admirer whatsoever. He just hopes it works out in the end and Chanyeol receives the letter. Worst case scenario is that he doesn’t get it and Kyungsoo has to find another way to cheer his best friend up.

 

With a resigned sigh he drops the letter off, shoulders slumping and curling into himself as he leaves the mailing room. He keeps his fingers crossed as he walks back to his dorm room, hoping that his plan works and nothing goes wrong.

He’s brought back to the present when Chanyeol lets out an annoyed groan, accidentally kicking him under the table when he thrashes his long legs in protest. It tears a glare out of him and Chanyeol sheepishly ducks under his gaze, opting to shove a shrivelled fry into his mouth before he could say anything. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes but accepts the fry, munching on it with lesser scorn than he imagined in his head.

 

He shrugs it off and momentarily forgets about the letter as he actually starts reading his class notes, Chanyeol quieting down in front of him as well as he goes back to his game.

 

The lull of the cafeteria serves as white noise in their small bubble, busy but familiar.

 

 

 

 

 

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol bursts into his dorm room sometime around six in the evening, panting and looking a little winded. Kyungsoo frowns as he stares at his door knob in accusation. He should really remember locking that.

 

“Soo! Guess what I found!”

 

Kyungsoo’s brows furrow, adjusting his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He regards Chanyeol, stares at his overexcited eyes, and comes up with a blank.

 

“I don’t know… your gameboy?” He tries half-heartedly, to which the other responds with a quick roll of his eyes.

 

“No silly, I found that last week.” Chanyeol digs into his back pocket as he walks in, shutting the door behind him carelessly. He brandishes a wrinkled scrap of pink paper that looks oddly familiar as he struts over to him, all but shoving it into his hands.

 

“A love letter!” Chanyeol sing songs, cheek flushed just the tiniest shade of pink.

 

Kyungsoo’s stomach drops to his feet as everything clicks.

 

_Oh no._

At least now he knows the letter made it, he tries to console himself as he unfolds it with shaky hands. Chanyeol is looking at him expectantly as his eyes glaze over the words he wrote himself, fingers smoothing over the crumpled ends nervously. It looks like Chanyeol thoroughly examined the letter as it definitely looks worse for wear now than when he sent it days ago.

 

“Well? What do you think?” his best friend prods, and Kyungsoo’s mouth dries up as he meets his gaze.

 

“I think… it's overly sappy.” he throws in an eye roll for good measure. He’s known for being brutally honest to a fault, so this was an expected reaction.

 

Chanyeol laughs and sits himself on his bed, bouncing on it excitedly as he takes the letter from his hands.

 

“It is sappy. But it’s sappy words about me!” He’s smiling so wide his left eye begins twitching, and Kyungsoo can only look on fondly.

 

“You think so? How do you know it’s for you? Where did you even get this?” Kyungsoo asks in mock bewilderment. He doesn’t like lying to him but he can’t exactly tell him the truth either. It was the lesser of two evils--for now.

 

“I found this on my floor when I went back to my room after classes. My name was written in print on the envelope, so I know this wasn’t sent to me by accident.”

 

Kyungsoo nods, trying to look invested in what he was saying even though he wants nothing to do with this conversation at all. In fact, he’d appreciate it if Chanyeol dropped the topic all together.

 

“Hm. Well, who’s it from?”

 

Fuck himself for attempting to continue the conversation.

 

Chanyeol frowns at this, a small pout making him look like a kicked puppy. “I don’t know actually. The letter isn’t signed. It’s why I came to you, too. Do you know who might have sent this?”

 

Kyungsoo lets out a bark of sharp laughter that surprises them both. “Why do you think I’d know who might have sent this?” It comes out sharper than he’d intended. He wants to backtrack but Chanyeol is already talking, wringing his hands in his lap, a habit he does when he’s nervous.

 

“You know how you’re more aware of others than I am? Like when I didn’t know Sehun wanted to ask me out until you pointed it out, point blank? Yeah… that. I figured there might be something like that again this time, so I asked you first.”

 

Guilt knots itself into the pit of Kyungsoo’s stomach and he almost, almost tells him the truth--but he doesn’t; pulling back even further when he thinks he sees a sliver of hope in Chanyeol’s eyes. He sighs.

 

“I can’t really think of anyone, Yeol. Maybe it’s someone from your class? I haven’t noticed anyone hanging off you recently. None from our group of friends, at least.”

 

Chanyeol nods thoughtfully, but the smile creeps back into his face, and he folds the letter back into his pocket with utmost care.

 

“Well, I’ll know someday. Thanks for humoring me, Soo. I know you’re busy.” His best friend sheepishly scratches at his temple, eyes roaming over the messy desk in front of him. Kyungsoo brushes him off, more than used to his antics.

 

“I’m used to it,” he voices out, which earns him a jab to the shoulder. He laughs, clutching at his arm before shooing Chanyeol away.

 

“Go, before you disturb me more than you already have.”

 

Chanyeol has one foot out of the door before turning around, scoffing. “You know I’ll be back in two hours. See you, Soo!”

 

He calls out unnecessarily and then he’s off; Kyungsoo’s heart unfairly skipping a beat. He sighs, thumping at his chest with a fist. It works, numbing the fluttering he’s been feeling here and there for a while now. His glasses slip down his nose and he pushes it back up, distracting himself with his school work before his mind wanders into waters he’d rather not tread.

 

 

 

 

 

                                                ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

 

It worked. He can’t believe his plan actually worked.

 

He hasn’t seen Chanyeol mope in days. No tears, no sniffles. None.

 

It’s like that one letter paved the way for Chanyeol to look at himself differently again, or something.

 

So of course Kyungsoo keeps it up. Sends him another one. And another one. Until it becomes a weekly thing.

 

In his defense, he really didn’t mean to make it a regular thing-- but with the way Chanyeol light’s up even at the mention of the letter--it’s kind of hard not to. Before he knows it it’s too late to stop, and Chanyeol begins looking forward to his letters every goddamn week. Kyungsoo is running out of adjectives to describe his hair, but he can’t exactly stop now.

 

He groans, dropping his face on to his mahogany desk.

 

 

 

                                                                        ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

“Wow, you look like death.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Baekhyun, one of his newer friends in university, watches him in amusement. His eyes sparkle in mirth, and Kyungsoo can’t see what’s so funny at nine in the morning. He averts his eyes and grumpily drinks his coffee, slouching further in his seat.

 

He was nursing a headache as soon as he woke up, the throbbing in his temples thankfully lessened with each shot of caffeine in his system.

 

“Is it finals week already or something? What is the Literature Department doing to their students? I saw Minseok the other day and he looked like a zombie mouthing poems in the library. It was unnerving, at the very least.”

 

Kyungsoo grumbles, taking another hefty sip before bothering to reply.

 

“The department is collaborating with the theater kids. I think we’re supposed to submit scripts in at the end of the week or something. Fuck.” he groans, dropping his forehead onto the cold cafeteria table. He hears Baekhyun’s chiming laughter from above him and he flips him off, too tired to do anything else.

 

“Okay… so you’re clearly not doing the theater thing. What’s up then? Something’s clearly bothering you.”

 

He lets Baekhyun ramble, mind floating elsewhere. His friend is right though, to an extent. He hasn’t been getting any sleep lately because something is bothering him. Or rather, someone.

 

“...is it Chanyeol?”

 

“What?”

 

He zones back in right as Baekhyun mentions his best friend’s name, and Kyungsoo bristles; defensive.

 

“It’s Chanyeol, isn’t it.” Baekhyun states; it's not even a question.

 

Kyungsoo rubs the heels of his palm over his eyes, exhausted. “It’s complicated.”

 

“Ah, but young love always is, little grasshopper.”

 

He glares at that, contemplating dumping the rest of his now cool coffee over his friend’s head. Deciding it’s a tad too dramatic, he settles for clenching and unclenching his fists over his thighs.

 

“Who said anything about young love?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes naturally. “It’s nothing like that. Just some split second decisions that I don’t really know if I regret or not.” He sighs, picking his cup up and chugging the remains down. The liquid no longer burns down his throat like he would have liked and now he just feels washed up. Empty.

 

Baekhyun takes pity on him and thankfully doesn’t pry, steering the conversation into something more worthwhile. Like summer vacation fast approaching, or the school’s fundraiser before the end of the year. Safe topics he knows he can drown in. Baekhyun, bless his soul, indulges him.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s after three in the afternoon when Chanyeol shows up, the blissful silence in his dorm room shattered by his tall friend’s booming voice.

 

They were halfway through midterms so naturally, Kyungsoo was nose deep into his books. Chanyeol should be too, considering he’s aiming for honors when senior year comes around.

 

His friend apparently has his priorities on backwards as the first thing he says to Kyungsoo when he sees him is the new Marvel movie coming out _next month._

 

Immensely unimpressed, Kyungsoo slides his glasses off of his face and massages the bridge of his nose. He sighs, a long suffering one, as he folds his hands atop a fully highlighted page on _Sundiata_. Chanyeol looks unbothered, eyes bright as he invites himself in and sits on Kyungsoo’s worn leather couch.

 

“Did you hear? We’re getting Iron Man 4 next month! _Next month_! Soo, we’re so close!” Chanyeol is practically vibrating in his seat from his excitement, large university hoodie scrunching up and bunching around his torso.

 

“Okay… but is this the only reason you’re barging in at,” Kyungsoo pauses, lifting his arm to stare at his watch. “—three fourteen in the afternoon? I know you’re excited, but don’t you have exams coming up?”

 

At this Chanyeol visibly pouts, reaching up to mess with his curly locks. “That isn’t until Monday afternoon.”

 

“Yeah, in two days?”

 

Chanyeol gasps, eyes widening twice their size. “That soon?”

 

Kyungsoo nods, reaching for his phone off the side of his desk and unlocking it to show him what day it is.

 

“Today’s Friday, and your midterms start next Monday. Mine starts on Tuesday.” Kyungsoo locks his phone, setting it back on his table. “Don’t tell me you haven’t started studying?”

 

Chanyeol looks sheepish, averting his gaze as he scratches the side of his head. “I, uh. Haven’t gotten around to opening any notes on Psych 170.”

 

Now it’s turn for Kyungsoo’s eyes to widen, gaping at his friend who’s usually a lot more grade conscious than he was. “What?”

 

“Listen, Soo. You know how Yixing and I used to frequent the library to study? I kind of, still feel his presence there sometimes. It gets too much, so I end up leaving every time I try to study.”

 

Kyungsoo’s gaze softens when he sees the slight crumple on Chanyeol’s face, though another exasperated sigh leaves his lips. “Of course you’ll feel his presence there, Yeol. He’s not dead.” He makes a face, slightly annoyed at Chanyeol for being irrational. He’s annoyed at Yixing too, for affecting Chanyeol like this even when he’s been out of the picture for a while now.

 

“You still need to study, Yeol. Regardless of how our university library makes you feel now. You could study in your dorm—”.

 

Chanyeol cuts him off, whining as he throws an arm over his eyes and slides down his couch in dramatic fashion. “—You know how Jongdae always has study groups over! I can’t concentrate.”

 

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, well you can study here. But! Nothing else. Just studying. No games, no chatting, no _nothing.”_

 

Chanyeol surprises him with a guffaw, peeking from under his arm before he sits up with a grin too wide to be considered normal.

 

“Are you saying there’s a chance that we might be doing activities which _aren’t_ studying? Naughty as usual, Soo.”

 

Kyungsoo feels his cheeks heat up against his will, so he throws a balled up piece of paper right at Chanyeol’s face to cover it up. It hits him square in the face, whining all the way to the floor where he exaggerates the pain as he curls in on himself.

 

“Ow, ow. It hurts Soo, it hurts. How could you…”

 

But Kyungsoo leaves him to die like that, rolling his eyes as he slips his glasses back on. He’s used to Chanyeol whining for attention like a puppy, so this doesn’t bother him. He slips on some earbuds for good measure, smirking as he glimpses his best friend’s affronted expression.

 

 

 

 

 

That night, he writes Chanyeol another letter.

 

It’s a little different from the previous ones he wrote, where he only gushed and praised Chanyeol’s physical appearance. Compliments like how cute he looks when he smiles and how he should do that often; which, by the way, Kyungsoo forced himself to type out. He was cringing like death trying to put those thoughts into words, making several attempts at deleting the words altogether from the already sappy letter. But then again, he realized he was doing this to make Chanyeol smile in the first place, so he wrote it in anyway.

 

This letter however, he decided last minute, would contain a little more substance.

 

Chanyeol’s words from before echoes annoyingly in the recesses of Kyungsoo’s mind. The words ‘ _too much_ ’, ‘ _Yixing_ ’, and ‘ _study_ ’ circling around in his head like an unwelcome Merry Go Round. The only way to make it stop, he convinces himself, was to douse Chanyeol’s anxieties with his sickly sweet words. He’d never openly admit it but— no matter how exaggerated, the words he wrote about his best friend always rung some truth in them one way or another.

 

Kyungsoo steels himself for another round of subconsciously writing from the bottom of his dead heart.

 

He writes about how he thinks of Chanyeol as his inspiration, in more ways than just romantic. He confesses that he’s seen him around the campus, particularly the library, nose deep into his readings with highlighters scattered about. He writes how he feels motivated to study more, doubling the effort it takes to do his papers since he sees Chanyeol doing the same.

 

There’s some truth behind his words, because his grades _are_ higher whenever he studies with Chanyeol instead of on his own, or with anyone else for that matter. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Chanyeol knows him best, knows when to quiz him on subject’s he doesn't quite get. His grades have improved since taking Chanyeol under his wing freshman year, long lanky limbs and frail frame all but bumping into him in Art History 101. They were forced to be desk partners for every exercise under that class, and it was just Kyungsoo’s luck that Chanyeol turned out to be a hard worker- the kind that does 90% of the work and requires the bare minimum from their partner. The rest was history after that.

 

Kyungsoo knows studying is important to Chanyeol, so including that in the letter is necessary. Especially now that he openly admitted to feeling uncomfortable in their university library.

 

The image of Chanyeol spacing out in the library, books untouched as he sees remnants of his ex everywhere, prickles at his heart. He doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like what his best friend has become just because he’s gotten his heart broken.

 

Kyungsoo seeks to fix it, no matter how many letters it takes.

 

 

 

 

                                                                        ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo’s Saturday night consists of a cup of coffee, his World Literature notes on his lap, and the rapidly cooling ramyun on his small dining table. He’s alone, Chanyeol still MIA. In fact he hasn’t seen him once today, which he should really be worried about… but midterms. He had more pressing things to worry about than his best friend disappearing on him; Chanyeol was a grown ass man, for fucks sake.

 

Eventually, when Kyungsoo is dozing halfway through his notes, Chanyeol keys his dorm room open. A light sleeper, Kyungsoo jolts at the small squeak his door makes when opened, eyes wide in alarm only to be met by Chanyeol brushing his shoes off by the entrance.

 

He relaxes, stretching from his spot on the couch. He stifles a yawn with his fist, squinting at the wall clock he has above his refrigerator.

 

“What time is it?”

 

Chanyeol shrugs off his coat and hangs it at the back of the couch before unceremoniously depositing himself on the other end. It's a tight squeeze, and his long limbs inevitably drape over Kyungsoo’s on the small couch. Kyungsoo grunts in annoyance, but doesn’t make a move to shove him off.

 

“It’s past ten.”

 

Kyungsoo frowns, hitting Chanyeol in the shoulder. “How are you going to get some studying done? The day’s almost over.”

 

Chanyeol’s nose wrinkles in response, before shrugging lazily. “I was studying. In the library.”

 

That wakes Kyungsoo up, sitting up straight and shoving his best friend’s leg off his lap. “What? Really?”

 

To answer his question, Chanyeol pulls a small piece of paper from his back pocket, handing it to him wordlessly. It’s the same letter he sneaked into the mailroom late last night, the very same letter Kyungsoo unwittingly shared a tiny shred of his soul with. He gulps as he unfolds it, pretending to read over the words he wrote himself.

 

“Someone reminded me of who I used to be. Plus I felt like studying, so I did.”

 

Kyungsoo’s brows furrow, unbelieving for the second time that his letters actually work. Chanyeol felt motivated to study. But what about…

 

“And Yixing?” He whispered the question, a little scared of how his best friend might react. Yixing was still a touchy subject, obviously, but at least Chanyeol no longer cried every night like he used to.

 

Chanyeol shrugged, the edges of his mouth lifting up in a lazy smile when he meets Kyungsoo’s eyes. Wordlessly, he shifts closer, an arm loosely slinging over his shoulder. And then he’s enveloped in warmth, forcing himself to look away when Chanyeol invades his personal space with his infamous bear hugs. His tall best friend cuddles him like this, a little uncomfortable with his chin digging onto the top of his head. His large palm cups his arm, and he wills his heart to stop beating so goddamn fast. This isn’t even new for them; Chanyeol always cuddles him when he’s — . Kyungsoo gasps, wanting to turn in his hold, but the taller stops him. He buries his nose in Kyungsoo’s hair, just holding on to him.

 

Kyungsoo freezes, unsure of the feelings stirring in his chest. They stay silent for a few moments, the sound of drunk college students having the time of their lives from outside the window serving as background noise. When he can’t take it anymore he places a palm over Chanyeol’s knee, squeezing in comfort. “Are you really okay?”

 

Chanyeol’s chest is warm against his back, and Kyungsoo’s thoughts scramble about as he’s overwhelmed by his best friend all over him at once. It’s intimate, the way he’s being hugged somehow, which throws him the fuck off. He almost misses Chanyeol’s words amidst the panic stirring in his chest, but thankfully he catches on.

 

“I… feel okay. It was weird at first, studying by myself again after a year of having him beside me but...it was okay. I didn’t feel like throwing up as soon as I sat down. I’m okay.”

 

He knows the last phrase was more of a reassurance to Chanyeol himself, to which he agrees wholeheartedly. He reaches up to envelop Chanyeol’s palm in his, squeezing in what he hopes come across as comfort.

 

“You’re okay, Yeol. You’re okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up to a crick in his back and his cheek pressed against something hard. Blindly, he pushes himself off the thing to steady himself, unknowingly hitting somewhere tender as the person beside him groans in pain. His eyes fly open in surprise.

 

Chanyeol curls in on himself on the small sofa beside him, legs lifted up as he clutches somewhere between his legs. Kyungsoo stumbles off the couch so fast, he almost knocks into the wooden chair to his right.

 

“Fuck, we slept here?” He exclaims instead, voice still hoarse from sleep, masking the embarrassment creeping up his cheeks. Chanyeol grunts in lieu of a reply, back turned to him now. It’s too bright in his room, and he walks over to his curtains with a hiss. He pulls the dark cloth together, relishing in the muted brightness now surrounding his room.

 

He walks past Chanyeol again, only to be pulled back with a strong grip on his arm. Chanyeol looks up at him, lashes wet. He looks adorable, a light flush coloring his cheeks and his lower lip jutted out. “I think you scrambled my eggs, Soo.”

 

Any soft feelings Kyungsoo was having for Chanyeol all flies out of the window, swatting at his arm in exasperation. “Oh my god, Chanyeol.”

 

“What?”

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he resumes walking towards the small kitchen, turning the coffee maker on. “I’m sure you’ll be fine if you can already make jokes like that.”

 

From his periphery, he can see Chanyeol already getting up, smoothing over something in between his legs. He’s still sulking, if his crouched posture is any indication. Kyungsoo stifles a laugh, reaching for the eggs he keeps in his pantry.

 

“How does scrambled eggs sound for breakfast?”

 

“Soo!”

 

Kyungsoo cackles lowly, eyeing Chanyeol over the pan. Chanyeol is grinning too, and the thought that he hasn’t seen him laugh this openly in a while crosses his mind. It makes him smile wider, because finally— he was getting his best friend back, one smile at a time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s finals week, and Kyungsoo is more determined than any fucking nerd in the Literature department. His head is swimming in _Shakespeare_ , in _Willa Cather_ , in _Virgina Woolf_. He has words upon words of many different authors flitting around in his memory, a result of absolutely ignoring everyone in the last few days in order to keep his focus.

 

Even Chanyeol was shunned out of his room come Monday night. He had to get a good night’s sleep before a major exam, and it just never seemed to happen when Chanyeol was around. No amount of pouting or puppy eyes was ever going to convince him to let Chanyeol back into his room.

 

That night it was just him, his books, his highlighters, and his trusty earphones.

 

The first round of exams were to occur on Tuesday and end on Friday; but unlike all the other students in their University, Literary majors almost always finished a day earlier. Perks of loving voluntary reading and their department’s exams being squished together in three days.

 

Kyungsoo was used to this— he was a junior now, the hectic exam scheduling no longer an issue for him. The earlier he finished, the more free time he had before everyone went home for their semestral break.

 

By Thursday evening, precisely around 7, Kyungsoo was a free man. The weight on his shoulders lifted completely with all his exams done for this semester.

 

His college building was already bustling with noise—completely out of the ordinary where they mostly talked in hushed tones— the joy of their finals coming to an end messing with their reserved nature. Even Minseok was joking around with a freshman; and he _never_ talked to anyone outside of their friend circle.

 

Kyungsoo had a skip in his step, the imaginary beat of a song stuck in his head for weeks now playing on loop. He hummed it under his breath, happy and content as he made his way to his dorm room.

 

Before he could even step on the threshold of his dorm building though, Kyungsoo pauses. Chanyeol’s face pops in his mind, a reminder of how he hasn’t seen him for three days now since he kicked him out. What if he wasn’t eating, or worse— already dead? Kyungsoo chuckles even though an uncomfortable feeling settles on the pit of his stomach. He traces back his steps, making a hasty detour towards his best friend’s dorms.

 

Chanyeol lived a few buildings away, nearer to the Psychology department; a good ten minute or so walk. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind, since he was in a good mood and he needed the exercise anyway.

 

He stopped by a small convenience store on his way there, planning to buy Chanyeol some comfort food in case he forgot to feed himself again. Kyungsoo’s hands are full by the time he keys in Chanyeol’s dorm room, ramen and the energy bars inside jostling around with the movement.

 

“Chanyeol!” Kyungsoo greeted loudly, only for the words to quickly die on his tongue at the sight that greeted him.

 

Chanyeol was wearing his large earphones, back turned to him as he was facing the wall on his study desk. There were books opened and notes strewn about, his laptop was opened to an online journal about Child Psychology; nothing out of the ordinary. This was a normal weekday night for a university student studying for his finals.

 

However, among the sticky notes stuck on Chanyeol’s annoyingly large cork board by his study desk was a familiar shade of pink stationery. Even though it was a good meter away, he didn't need to squint to know what it was. It was his stupid fucking letter, letters-- _plural_ , that were fucking stuck and put on display, smack dab in the middle of Chanyeol’s dorm room. A dorm room he shares with a _roommate._ Loud-mouthed, probably has asked about it already, Jongdae.

 

Even though Kyungsoo has to remind himself that no one except the university cameras and his browser history knew that he was the author of Chanyeol’s anonymous pseudo- love letters, he still can’t help but feel embarrassed at the blatant display of his letters.

 

Those were his private thoughts of Chanyeol, no matter how blown out of proportion. It still makes him blush just thinking about the way he described his best friend’s hair.

 

Curly, soft and fluffy. Seriously, _what the fuck._

 

Chanyeol, having felt the warm air coming in through his still opened door, turns around curiously. He jerks in his seat, almost falling over as he sees Kyungsoo seemingly materializing out of nowhere in his doorway.

 

Kyungsoo watches Chanyeol slide his headphones off, grin wide and welcoming even though he was caught off guard. He forces himself to move his feet and close the door behind him. He needed to fucking get it together or he was going to risk exposing himself.

 

“H-hey.” He inwardly curses at the stutter.

 

Chanyeol responds easily with a grin, sweeping over the stutter as he swivels in his wheely chair to face Kyungsoo.

 

“Soo! Haven’t seen you in a month. Why haven’t you written me any letters? I’m hurt.”

 

He knows Chanyeol is joking. Knows he has no clue whatsoever that he was behind the letters. But it still doesn't stop his heart from doing a somersault and dropping into the pit of his stomach at the mere mention of letters. He was a guilty man, and he was never the best at lying.

 

“Aha...ha.” Kyungsoo makes a weird noise between a wheeze and a cough, before pointedly looking away. He clears his throat and tries again. “Blame our exams. It was ruthless. How were yours?”

 

His eyes pass over the notes on Chanyeol’s table, highlighted and marked with a ballpoint pen. Kyungsoo smirks, smug as he sits himself on his best friend’s bed, phone out and scrolling through Facebook.

 

“You look… busy. Let me just scroll through facebook here, don’t mind me.”

 

Chanyeol laughs, loud and obnoxious as he throws himself across his best friend’s lap. “Stop teasing, Soo. You know I have one more exam set for tomorrow. I have to study…”

 

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, placing his hands above Chanyeol’s face on his lap and continuing his scrolling like nothing happened. “So? I’m never noisy. You can study while I play with my phone quietly. Win-win.”

 

Chanyeol pouts up at him. His lower lip jutted out like that brushes against the side of his palm. Kyungsoo pretends not to notice through the staccato of his heart beats..

 

“Go back to studying, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol gives in, like he always does when Kyungsoo asks nicely, or whenever he asks for anything at all, actually. With a long suffering sigh from the other, he watches his tall friend pick himself up and off his lap. He lands back onto the wheely chair with all the grace of a wounded giraffe. Kyungsoo stifles a laugh.

 

It’s silent after that, just the quiet turning of pages from Chanyeol’s book, and the occasional squeak of a highlighter against unmarked paper. Kyungsoo is content with just hanging out with him like this, memories of ex boyfriends and tears a distant memory in the past. When he thinks Chanyeol is sufficiently distracted, he snaps a photo. Just one; his guilty pleasure. Amidst all the studying, his best friend looked so peaceful. Kyungsoo hasn’t seen a sight like that in a while; he just _had_ to take a picture.

 

Chanyeol finishes up long after midnight, and Kyungsoo finds himself spending the night after falling asleep in his bed. Jongdae is nowhere to be found so it's just the two of them; two best friends squished in a small college dorm bed. Chanyeol is warm and familiar; Kyungsoo, cold and dazed, unable to resist the pull to bury his face in the middle of his chest. His sigh is almost embarrassingly content when a long arm winds around his waist. He couldn’t find it in himself to care however, not when he was fuzzy all over with sleep. He drifts back to sleep easily, engulfed by his best friends infamous bear hugs.

 

 

Chanyeol leaves early that morning for his exam. Kyungsoo woke up much later to an empty bed and a post it note stuck to his bedside table where he could easily see. _‘Went to class, see you later- CY’._ Kyungsoo snorted at the note, like he wasn’t with him studying for this very exam last night. With a grunt, he rolled over and stretched. Chanyeol’s bed was oddly huge when he wasn’t taking up all the space. He chuckled at the thought, suddenly sitting himself up in a panic when another voice joins his.

 

“I didn’t know you snored.” It was Jongdae, looking at him with a cat-like grin like he’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t have. He didn’t, but he had woken up in Chanyeol’s bed, so… That’s still something to be curious about, he supposes.

 

He shrugs, clutching at his chest after getting over the initial shock of being startled. “I’ve been told that I do, but I won’t believe it until someone shows me concrete proof.” He stifles a yawn into his hand, running his other hand through his hair to try and tame it. “How long have you been here?”

 

Jongdae’s expresion doesn’t let up. Instead he looks even more smug as he sifts through his backpack. “Early enough to catch you two cuddling.”

 

He ignores the steady heat creeping up on his chest and on his nape. “We weren’t cuddling.”

 

Jongdae tuts, exchanging his notebooks for books, stuffing his bag full. “I saw what I saw. You two were full on cuddling; would’ve been adorable if it wasn’t in my own room, to be honest.” He snorts, before throwing a sleeve over his shoulder and hiking the bag up his back. His eyes flick over to the letters, before smirking at Kyungsoo like he knows something he shouldn’t. Kyungsoo’s throat dries.

 

“Looks like you’ve got competition. Chanyeol rereads those letters every chance he gets. It’s like a puppy crush, or something. I say you do something now before his secret admirer does something like confess, or something bold like actually reveal himself.”

 

Kyungsoo’s insides churn uncomfortably. “We’re just best friends.”

 

“And the sky is blue, and I like dick.” Jongdae deadpans. He glances at his wrist watch before cursing, walking towards the door in quick strides. “I’d like to stay and chat about how I think you like Chanyeol more than just a best friend should, but I’ve got class. I’ll see you later.” The door slams a second later and Kyungsoo is left to his thoughts, Jongdae’s words left lingering in the air.

 

He has never once considered Chanyeol as anything more than just his best friend, so he really had no idea what Jongdae was talking about. And his letters? Chanyeol always read them? Fuck, he really screwed up big time. If Chanyeol already treated his letters highly like this meant he probably already had a crush on his letter sender. Which means Kyungsoo had to do this constantly. And then what? He had to fake confess? Not to mention he can’t just find anyone to fill in for the role whenever the time came and he had to reveal himself. There was just no way he was going to _admit_ to doing any of that himself.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes flicked over to the letters, stacked up and proudly shown to the world. He rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes with a frustrated sigh. Just what did he do?

 

 

 

The letters stop. Kyungsoo just stops sending them, trashed the pink stationery that very day. He realizes now that he had worded his letters wrongly. Rereading them from an outsider’s perspective really showed him how much his simple letters of admiration could be mistaken for an anonymous person wooing his crush. The thought made him shudder and throw away any ideas for Chanyeol’s future letters. In his defense, he was desperate. He would literally do anything to see Chanyeol smile again, even if it came to this.

 

Of course, Chanyeol noticed. It was a weekday a few days later when Chanyeol brought it up in conversation.

 

“Hey Soo.”

 

Kyungsoo looks up from his laptop, in the middle of proofreading an essay due in four hours. “Hmm?”

 

Chanyeol looks conflicted, brows furrowed as he pokes at his sandwich. “Is it weird that I’m missing the letters?”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in confusion. “The what?”

 

Chanyeol huffs, deflates into himself as he pushes his sandwich away. “You know those letters I used to get every other day? They stopped coming. I even went to the University mailing department to see for myself if my letters were being held back. All they told me was that nothing for Park Chanyeol came all week.” He sighs, big, brown eyes staring up at Kyungsoo in undisguised sadness. “Is it weird that I miss receiving those?”

 

Guilt knots itself onto his guts, forcing him to swallow back the bile rising up his throat. Kyungsoo clenches a fist on his lap, hidden from view. “Of course not; it was flattering to receive them, right?”

 

Chanyeol shrugs, picking at lint on his sweater. “I guess. I just miss looking forward to something everyday. Those letters made me feel special again, kind of like how I felt when I was still dating Yixing.”

 

Time stopped for Kyungsoo when he heard his best friend utter his ex’s name freely for the first time in months. There were no tears, no mental breakdowns, no nothing. If Chanyeol can speak about Yixing like this again without breaking down, then it means he’s over him. Amidst it all, Kyungsoo smiles at the thought. All his hard work paid off. Except for the fact that _now,_ Chanyeol is sad because of him; not outright, but because he was responsible for the letters. Chanyeol’s sulky mood is still technically his fault.

 

With a sigh he reaches out to card his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair. It’s not much, but he sees and feels his best friend melt into the touch. Kyungsoo’s eyes are fond as he strokes his hair gently, resisting the odd urge to press a kiss on his forehead. Mentally shaking his head he pulls back a little, pressing his lips into a thin line and keeping them from pressing where they shouldn’t be.

 

“That feels good, Soo. Makes me sleepy.”

 

Kyungsoo snorts, ignoring the weird tug at his gut when Chanyeol’s voice drops an octave lower. He retracts his hand, keeping it against his laptop despite Chanyeol’s protesting whines.

 

“Shut up, you big puppy. We’re in the cafeteria. You can’t sleep here.”

 

Chanyeol pouts but straightens up anyway, packing his things once he caught a glimpse of the time on his watch. “Should we get going, then? I need to work on an exercise due at the end of the day.”

 

Kyungsoo nods, packing his things at well. “Okay. Where to?” They could study at each other’s dorms now that their exams were over. Kyungsoo wishes they’d study over at his room simply because it was cleaner, and maybe because a certain someone who talked too much wouldn’t be there.

 

“To the library. I hope we meet my secret admirer there, too. They seem like the type to frequent the library like I used to.”

 

Oh the irony. Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother hiding the rolling of his eyes. Chanyeol guffaws, smacks him on the shoulder for it as they leave the cafeteria and head towards the library.

 

“If you bother me by trying to stalk them I swear I will not hesitate to leave your ass.”

 

Kyungsoo laughs as he fights Chanyeol’s advances to pull him into a snuggly side hug. “But Soo…”  
  
“No buts, sorry. Unlike some people I actually need some work done.”

 

They pass by Baekhyun on the way there, talking animatedly with someone. Jongdae, Kyungsoo belatedly realizes. He and Jongdae stare at him and Chanyeol like middle school kids, doing the squinting eye motion and the hand gestures shamelessly. Chanyeol laughs at them good-naturedly, but Kyungsoo was sweating bullets. Who thought putting Jongdae and Baekhyun together was a good idea? How were they even friends?

 

Kyungsoo repeats this question out loud to Chanyeol once they settle down on a table in the library, nearer to the back where everyone around them was mostly asleep. Chanyeol glanced around the tables, discreetly looking for hints of his secret admirer.

 

“Jongdae and Baekhyun are classmates from some G.E. course back in freshman year. I’m surprised you don’t know they’re friends. Aren’t you close with Baekhyun, too?” Chanyeol asks in amusement as he flips through a book he brought in.

 

“Yes, but I only ever hangout with you.” Kyungsoo hisses in retaliation, eyes narrowing in Chanyeol’s direction in something akin to betrayal.

 

“Right. Because I’m special?”

 

Kyungsoo slides his glasses on and lets it rest atop the bridge of his nose. He throws Chanyeol an unimpressed look as he reboots his laptop. “I’m not a friendly person, Chanyeol. I hope you know by now I only ever put up with you because I don’t have a choice.”

 

Chanyeol laughs--wheezes, actually, since he can’t be too loud in the library. His left eye twitches and all his teeth show from how hard he’s trying to keep his chuckles down. Kyungsoo kicks him under the table and fixes him with a gaze to get him to shut up. It works, and Kyungsoo actually manages to finish his paper within an hour. Meanwhile, Chanyeol already had his phone out thirty minutes in of ‘doing his exercise’.

 

Eventually, Kyungsoo stands up, smoothing over his shirt as he excuses himself to use the restroom. Chanyeol asks to borrow his laptop for a while. Thinking nothing of it he readily agrees, before making a beeline for the nearest restroom.

 

It’s only when he’s zipping up his fly does he remember that he hasn’t deleted any of the documents he used to write Chanyeol’s letter with on his laptop. They were all there, labeled inconspicuously of course, but there. Word by word. In the god ugly font of Times New Roman. Nerves crawl up his skin, making his stomach twist in anxiousness.

 

His feet are heavy as he forces himself to walk back to their table. There’s still a very large chance that Chanyeol wouldn’t have seen it, but there’s also that tiny chance that he did. Kyungsoo dreads the worst.

 

Chanyeol is still playing on his phone when he returns, head bent and nowhere near his laptop. Kyungsoo breathes out a very audible sigh of relief. Chanyeol turns to him and quirks a smile as soon as he sits. There’s an annoyed tick around his mouth that only happens when he’s genuinely upset about something.

 

Kyungsoo’s heart stops. _Oh, fuck._

 

“So when were you planning to tell me?”

 

Kyungsoo swallows. He could still play dumb; it could be about anything. “A-about?”

 

Chanyeol smirks, though the action is a little more terrifying when it doesn’t reach his eyes. He reaches for Kyungsoo’s laptop and presses a tab. It’s his last letter, glaring at him in unassuming Times New Roman. Kyungsoo’s heart takes a dive straight to his stomach. He was starting to hate the damn font.

 

“I-I can explain --”

 

Chanyeol cuts him off, eyes hard as he stands abruptly, causing the chair to scoot back with a clatter. Kyungsoo winces in his seat. “Did you mean them? The words you wrote?”

 

Kyungsoo stares at him, his hands curling into fists in exasperation. The _yes_ dies in his throat. He _knows_ he should say yes, because he did mean them, even if they were exaggerated at best. But he also knows that if he admits to this, he had to explain a whole clusterfuck of feelings he isn’t even sure he has in the first place.

 

“No…” he answers meekly, biting on his lower lip as he flicks his gaze away.

 

“Great,” Chanyeol answers gruffly and then he’s gone.

 

Kyungsoo is left to wallow in the uncomfortable silence Chanyeol left behind; a stifling feeling that just won’t go away.

 

His movements are robotic as he clears the table, preparing to leave. He can’t stay here, not after what happened.

 

He and Chanyeol had fights before, they usually cooled over in a day. He had nothing to worry about; he can explain once Chanyeol is less angry at him… right?

 

Kyungsoo hopes and hopes and hopes that Chanyeol lets him explain, for the sake of their friendship.

 

 

 

He doesn’t. In fact, they don’t see each other for _days._ Chanyeol doesn’t respond to his calls and texts, and he’s never home. Whenever he drops by his dorm, its either answered by silence, or by Jongdae; but never Chanyeol himself. Kyungsoo knows he deserves this, but he really just wants to take his words back. He just wants his best friend back. He wants Chanyeol.

 

The feeling in his chest tightens and unfurls the more that he doesn’t get to see Chanyeol, their very last conversation playing like a nightmarish record in his memory. He really didn’t mean to lead Chanyeol on like that; it wasn’t a prank by any means. He meant every word he said, every letter he wrote to him was sincere, and it took him his best friend finding out for him to realize that.

 

Kyungsoo was never really good at articulating his feelings and recognizing them, which is why his knee jerk reaction was to deny everything. God, he was such an idiot.

 

It was hard to catch Chanyeol in between classes since they had different courses and differing schedules. Kyungsoo had to either skip a class, or get through to him the old fashioned way. The method that got him into this mess in the first place.

 

 

Through a letter.

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo wrote the letter the exact same way he had it written back when he had first begun writing them for his best friend. With pink, god awful stationery and the Times New Roman font, the whole package. But only this time it was signed. He poured his heart out on that letter; he wrote down the things he couldn’t say in person, and the explanation Chanyeol deserved. All that’s left is for Chanyeol to read it; and, if a miracle allows it, for him to stop avoiding his advances so they could talk.

 

 

 

 

                                                                        ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

 

Chanyeol comes around on Friday, stepping behind Kyungsoo on purpose as he blearily picks out his first meal of the day. It’s almost six in the evening, the exhaustion seeping into his bones. Kyungsoo just wants to eat and then sleep; preferably for a week straight.

 

Someone nudges him from behind, but he was too tired to even acknowledge this; grunting half heartedly in lieu of an actual response.

 

“Soo,” a familiar deep voice whispers behind him, and he turns back so fast he gives himself whiplash. The greeting gets stuck in his throat, but he forces it out. Chanyeol is looking down at him impassively, but he allows a small lift in the corners of his mouth. It’s not quite a smile, but he’ll take it.

 

“Chanyeol,” he manages to squeak out. “C-can we… can we talk?”

 

Chanyeol lets his eyes roam over the cafeteria, still mostly crowded even at this time, before nodding. “Okay, but let’s talk in my room. I kicked Jongdae out for the night.”

 

Kyungsoo exhales, visibly relaxing at his words. He was going to talk to Chanyeol without Jondae around, thank god. Chanyeol chuckles at him curiously, his large hand on the small of his back nudging him forward and out of the cafeteria.

 

“I heard both Baekhyun and Jongdae gave you a hard time about me.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. And he sounded amused. Kyungsoo couldn’t stop the scowl threatening to take over his features.

 

“Yeah, well. They’re both little pieces of shit. What’s new?”

 

Chanyeol chuckles a little louder, only quieting down when they reach his dorm room. Kyungsoo stares, a little stunned at his best friend’s carefree laughter. Fuck, he hasn’t heard that laugh in a while. It melts his nerves away into a pile of goo. Chanyeol turns him into a pile of goo-- but he would never admit that, not even to himself.

 

 

They get right into business as soon as Chanyeol’s door closes behind them.

 

“So, why did you do it?”

 

Kyungsoo sits himself onto the wheely chair, spinning around once to calm his nerves. He could go about this the long way, where he explains where his sympathy is coming from. Or he could go for brute honesty. He nibbles on his lower lip, contemplating.

 

“I just wanted to see you smile again.”

 

He decides the short, unabridged truth is the way to go. Otherwise he might have risked saying something and upsetting Chanyeol again. His eyes are pleading, bottom lip worried in between his teeth as he looks at his best friend. He hopes he comes across as honest and nothing else.

 

Chanyeol’s eyes widen as he plops down on the edge of his bed, toying with the loose strings of his hoodie. “What?”

 

Kyungsoo shrugs, looking lost, like he doesn’t quite believe what he’s saying either. “It’s true. You’ve been so sad after the break up, you practically come to my room to cry yourself to sleep.” He smiles lopsidedly, gesturing with his hands. “I just wanted that to stop...and at the time, I thought, if you’ve heard how others saw you you’d believe in yourself again.” He trails off, keeping his gaze on the ground. Since when did they change carpets?

 

Chanyeol is silent for a while; seconds of waiting in agony stretches on until Kyungsoo finishes counting five dust bunnies lying around. He sweats, the AC doing nothing to stop his body from freaking out. His best friend hasn’t said anything, and he fears the worst.

 

Suddenly, a hand shoots in through his peripheries and tugs him closer. The chair skids over the carpet, landing in between Chanyeol’s spread legs. He was close, too close-- yet Kyungsoo couldn’t find it in himself to look away. Chanyeol’s eyes are warm and brown. They’re staring up at him softly, telling him he’s forgiven even without the confirmation of words. It makes him smile, the action making his best friend smile at him, too.

 

Kyungsoo’s heart pinches at the sight. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear.”

 

Chanyeol hums, letting his hands rest outside of Kyungsoo’s thighs. “But did you mean them? Did you mean it when you told me all those pretty words, Soo?”

 

Kyungsoo swallows, his best friend’s words stirring something up inside of him. Chanyeol’s had that effect on him for a while, but he always brushed him off. Now though, now that he’s got him like this, just the two of them with his heart already out in the open-- he finally lets the dam inside of him spill.

 

He’s been holding these feelings back for so long, disguising them as familiarity. As fondness in the guise of friendship. He realizes now that he only feels this way towards one person, towards Chanyeol. He opens his mouth, and he lets it all out; years of pent up feelings and frustrations summarized into one short phrase.

 

“I love you,” Kyungsoo blurts out in a panic, before he realizes what he just said and hurriedly backtracks. “No wait! I meant-- I meant those words. I do mean them. I think you’re a wonderful person, Chanyeol.”

 

He’s blushing all over; he can feel his cheeks in a permanent state of warmth. He’s staring at a dumbstruck Chanyeol, mouth hanging open adorably. He rambles to fill in the silence, understandably agitated.

 

“Yixing was dumb to let you go, Chanyeol. You’re smart, and you’re really fucking nice and, and I think you’re attractive enough to sport dates. And mmhf--”

 

Chanyeol, bless his soul, silences him with a kiss.

 

It’s short, and not at all sweet like the movies make them out to be, but it makes his toes curl nonetheless. His best friend’s eyes are closed, lips still pressed incessantly against his; and who was he to not press back?

 

They part after a few seconds for air, eyes wide.

 

Chanyeol looks like he’d seen a ghost, and he would have been disheartened if it weren’t for the blush adorning his cheeks.

 

Kyungsoo, emboldened by the kiss, reaches out to brush his fingers over the apples of Chanyeol’s cheeks. They’re warm, like his. It makes him smile that there’s a slight chance Chanyeol is feeling as flustered as he is.

 

“I like you, Chanyeol. I meant every word.”

 

“...Fuck.” Chanyeol’s eyes are still wide, brimming with tears. Kyungsoo lets out an incredulous laugh as he draws him into a warm hug, burying his face against his neck.

 

“Too much?”

 

Chanyeol huffs, seemingly snapping out of the daze as he hits his sides unapologetically. “Fuck you, man. That came out of nowhere.”

 

Kyungsoo hummed, nuzzling further against the warmth of his neck. “Did it, really?” He paused, slowly maneuvering them both so he could push Chanyeol back against the bed. His eyes are dark as he stares him down; his best friend’s eyes glazing over with his mouth dropping slightly. They’ve played around like this countless times before, but somehow, they know. This time it's different.

 

“Do you really think my feelings for you came out of nowhere, Yeol?”

 

Kyungsoo purposely makes his voice deeper, hovering over his best friend, over his crush of two years. It’s a heady feeling, getting to hold Chanyeol like this.

 

A high pitched giggle leaves Chanyeol’s lips, leaving him breathless. “I’d be lying if I said I’d never imagined this before, Soo.”

 

It’s Kyungsoo’s turn to be shocked. His arm shakes from where it was keeping his weight up. “What?”

 

Chanyeol looks away, wetting his lips. “I do. I can’t help it. I don’t think you realize how hot you are sometimes. Even Yixing agrees. Back then, we even thought of asking you to join us for a...threesome.” The tips of his ears color, and if Kyungsoo wasn’t so turned on right now he would have found it cute. The taller clears his throat, dimple showing as he presses his lips together. “But I told him we shouldn’t bother because you’d just murder us.” He chuckles softly, probably reliving the memory in his thoughts.

 

He stares, wondering what the pain in his chest is for. He’s watching Chanyeol laugh and blush, talking about his ex. Kyungsoo realizes with a start that its jealousy.

 

With his brows furrowed he leans a little closer, hands balled into fists on either side of Chanyeol’s head. “Well you’re wrong. I would have taken you up on that, if it means I’d get a taste of you for myself.”

 

He watches him carefully, sees the small flame of desire swirling in his warm brown eyes.

 

“Think of me, Yeol. Like I’ve been thinking of you for the past two years. Look at me. Just me.” His fingers grasp him by the chin, forcing his best friend to look at him. Kyungsoo shifts closer, eyes fluttering closed as he presses his forehead against Chanyeol’s.

 

Long limbs wraps around Kyungsoo’s frame, pulling him closer. He falls on top of Chanyeol’s lithe body, petal shaped lips kissing fervently around the corners of his mouth.

 

“Soo… Soo the only reason I’ve made it this far unscathed is because of you. You’re all I see. You’re all I’ve ever seen for a while.”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head, wetting his lower lip as he lets his fingers caress the sharp angles of Chanyeol’s face. “Let me show you...let me show you how you deserve to be loved.”

 

Chanyeol stares at him in a mixture of awe and affection, like he can’t believe this is happening at all. His eyes roam all over his face, calloused fingers finding their way up his arm. Chanyeol grips him tightly, as if to say it’s okay, and that he trusts him.

 

Kyungsoo smiles, nodding. He’d take care of him the only way he knows how.

 

By writing his love all over his skin-- with his lips.


End file.
